Slutwalk Today
Apr. 12th, 2013 07:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
citrus_javaSlutwalk. Got a ride there with a bunch of feminists, spent it playing I Never, sharing personal stuff, trying to play the raunchiest feminist songs on the ukelele (first time I ever tried to play one, I think), cheesily flirting with each other, talking about the differences between the waves of feminism, and trying to find cheap, vegan, gluten-free food.
You know, like the Winchesters and Jack Kerouac.
Awesome road trip.
It was too cold and too unsafe to wear my I Love Queer Porn shirt, so I was a covered up slut this time. Hugged a lot of people. Said no to a hug I didn't want, which was really hard to do. Heard a heartfelt, touching cover of Barbie Girl, sung on a megaphone cause we had no mic. Got harassed, cause of course, and everyone got pushed around a little by the police, just to make sure we remembered who was in charge.
It's so meaningful to me that this year, with new organizers, the Slutwalks made a point of being (way more) inclusive. The organizers made a point of inviting people from a whole lot of groups to write short pieces about it, from their standpoint . so many women, so many survivors, so many people I wanted to hear from - genderqueer, crip, asexual, immigrant, fat, people of different races and ages, trans, femme, butch, people living in rural areas, prostitutes, people in BDSM, mothers, heterosexual, cisgender, white, male, gay, lesbian, pansexual, polyamorous. And not even "one of each", I think they just included whoever wanted to write or talk, as well as personally asking people to talk. It came out real awesome, and was what made me want to go.
And sure, there's more to be desired. Not everyone could participate, and that is a big deal. But it is so much better than most feminist events I've been to, which are so often only about women from the strongest social groups. I want to set this at the new standard for events.
I'm so hungry to hear about all these people's different experiences, when they're things I am ignorant about, and to hear people actually saying stuff I so desperately need heard, when it's stuff I know too well myself.
You know, like the Winchesters and Jack Kerouac.
Awesome road trip.
It was too cold and too unsafe to wear my I Love Queer Porn shirt, so I was a covered up slut this time. Hugged a lot of people. Said no to a hug I didn't want, which was really hard to do. Heard a heartfelt, touching cover of Barbie Girl, sung on a megaphone cause we had no mic. Got harassed, cause of course, and everyone got pushed around a little by the police, just to make sure we remembered who was in charge.
It's so meaningful to me that this year, with new organizers, the Slutwalks made a point of being (way more) inclusive. The organizers made a point of inviting people from a whole lot of groups to write short pieces about it, from their standpoint . so many women, so many survivors, so many people I wanted to hear from - genderqueer, crip, asexual, immigrant, fat, people of different races and ages, trans, femme, butch, people living in rural areas, prostitutes, people in BDSM, mothers, heterosexual, cisgender, white, male, gay, lesbian, pansexual, polyamorous. And not even "one of each", I think they just included whoever wanted to write or talk, as well as personally asking people to talk. It came out real awesome, and was what made me want to go.
And sure, there's more to be desired. Not everyone could participate, and that is a big deal. But it is so much better than most feminist events I've been to, which are so often only about women from the strongest social groups. I want to set this at the new standard for events.
I'm so hungry to hear about all these people's different experiences, when they're things I am ignorant about, and to hear people actually saying stuff I so desperately need heard, when it's stuff I know too well myself.
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Date: 2013-04-14 10:46 am (UTC)and that sounds like I’m putting Sam down
I know... darlin' Sammy, I don't mean to either... but hey, everybody has their issues, to me gettting to know Sam's is part of loving Sam... He's amazing and caring, heartfelt, loyal. When he shows his heart, it's because he choses to, and that is meaningful in itself. And having to learn to be so calculated says a lot about some of the crap he went through. And while he desires to be part of society and protected, he gives that up to be with his loved ones. And he gives up everything - saying yes doesn't only mean "hopefully" spending eternity being tortured, it means being furthest away from hegemony-heaven as possible, (except perhaps people who just don't matter and aren't part of this conversation).
Sam knows how to fake his way into hegemony - say the right things, show the right amount of earnest emotion, hide most everything about himself, even from the woman he wants to marry. It's not really his place, but he's willing to pay that price - not sure he even sees that it's a huge price. Actually, pretty sure he never realized it was a huge price, not ever.
Like he knows his place better than Dean, knows he will never be accepted as himself. Dean's at least emotional about it, Sam doesn't even allow himself that. Unlike Dean, he knows he has great potential and feels he deserves better. But unlike Dean he pushes that down into this thin, occasional sad bitterness. He doesn't talk about it. I believe that's part of the reason Sam deals with all this anger he doesn't want to name.
Out of the two of them, I can absolutely see Sam being the one to stand up to hegemony, society, *everyone*, even Dean himself. I can see him being the one to say "fuck you, I want to fuck my brother and there is nothing wrong with that, or if there is, I'll take it". Even if Dean would leave him.
Dean would have a harder time standing alone, and Dean would be just more more socially embarrassed, being the good boy, after all. Dean needs that smile from the waitress, little bits of fondness from people he doesn't know. Because Dean knows he has nothing and no one, apart from Sam, who's likely to leave, in Dean's head. He doesn't have any options, just charm and desperation. He can't pay the price of being kicked further out of society.
Unless it's for Sammy, which he'd do in a heartbeat. If someone said something cruel, or threatened Sammy, Dean could take a stand, even if it meant losing Sam. To clarify where he stands. Be protective, compassionate.
Pretty possible he wouldn't have said no to Michael had it not meant going against Sam.