there was something very triggery on lj - so just - needed to go into "ball form"....
now - my mom died last week - it both made worse and maybe less bad for her having beeen abusive - but also worse in o many ways.... and..... just that - yea
Oh darling :((( I'm so sorry to hear about this. Even if a parental relationship is difficult/abusive/bad etc, the death will still be a hard thing to face. Perhaps even doubly so as there is a feeling of things left unresolved. *sits with you quietly and holds your wrist* Be kind to yourself. Be angry. Cry, shout, laugh, have fun, kick the walls. Whatever helps, all is allowed. Your grief and how you express it is yours. <3
Probably the main feeling I remain with so far is guilt - with moments of horror, relief, hopelessness or sadness, isolation and fond memories, and guiltagain.... i try to do the 'taking caree of myself ' thing, watch silly tv, do uni work, and i try being around people at least a little....
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-08-06 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-08-06 12:40 pm (UTC)Probably the main feeling I remain with so far is guilt - with moments of horror, relief, hopelessness or sadness, isolation and fond memories, and guiltagain.... i try to do the 'taking caree of myself ' thing, watch silly tv, do uni work, and i try being around people at least a little....
anyway - thank you thank you o much !