Dec. 25th, 2013

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Watched it for the first time. It was a lot of fun, and very slashy, half naked hugging (and *slumping and holding!*), and climbing over each other in bed to bring morning coffee and doing Christmas together, You know, like J2. Anyway.

I find it interesting that both here and in Supernatural, and in a bunch of other texts, the part of the duo to want a normative life is the one less hegemonic. I thought it may just be an anti-stereotype, like writing masculine gay guys. Which I still think is the case in most of those. Another reason, which I've seen in fic in reference to Sam quite a bit, is that being less normative, he needed this normalcy format more. Another interpretation I hadn't heard before came up in class - that since culture and family (and being characterized as a bit too old, like Roger, or a bit too young, like Sam) are often perceived as less masculine, it makes less hegemonic characters less threatening to the viewer, and no real competition to the more hegemonic half of the duo, which perhaps enables the closeness between them. Perhaps it's just a case of "the white/human/normal guy and his Other buddy" plot, and since being free, rebel(ish) with a possible-but-not-really death wish is cool, the other guy gets the contrasting role.

On a different yet related (har har) note - the incest! What? What was I - why?! How was I *supposed* to read the scene in which Roger's daughter showed him her new dress, walking down the stairs to the very pronounced smoky saxophone music? And gave him a kiss? Playfully splashed and kissed him and commented on his looks while he was in the bathtub? I thought at first they were building towards "protective father whose daughter is growing up too fast", but they never did that, if that's what they were going for. What?

A random person at uni heard me mention SPN, and made a point of letting me know she loved Dean, but not Sam, cause he's just a faggot. I was so offended! How dare she say someone is more of a faggot than Dean?!
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The thing about me a current SPN Canon is this: There are not a lot of characters I can identify with anywhere, and particularly not on TV. That's really very rare. And I strongly identify with both Sam and Dean.

So I'm invested in what happens to them, not just because I love them, but also cause I'm sorta waiting to find out from this tale - how do people like me end up? What happens to us? And yeah, I realize it's a bad idea. And yeah, a bad ending would be heartbreaking. But there seriously aren't any, nearly any stories like that - how could I stop listening, not care? It's like finding your first gay character, in all the stories. You're gonna cling to it even if it's a horrible, bigoted representation - probably

The thing is, for seasons now I'm listening pretty intently, waiting to hear - how they deal with things, what the consequences are and so forth. What can be expected, where choices lead. What somebody else thinks about these things, some creator who perhaps experienced something of that too, perhaps knows things I don't... just has other perspectives... something!

One option not available, is going out of character, "being someone else".I'm waiting for news from the boys I love, the guys I identify with. I wanna know what they do to deal with things. Even just - their trauma, guilt, mental issues, loss, addiction, economic state, isolation, social status and so forth... pegging that as "too depressing" is horrible. It's saying "if you have that many problems, just go ahead and give up on life". People live with bad things, people deal with bad things. And it can include fun and banter and brotherly slashiness - that's what Show's *always* given us, the boys dealing with things too big while supporting each other and sometimes having a good balance with fun. I need to hear about how my boys deal/dealt with it. How they got where they are, wherever that is... There''s no indication of how or why they got where they are...


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