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citrus_javaTitle: Missing My Brother, Jared
Ships: J2, Jared/Gen, others, however you understand it
Rating: PG
Notes: for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ash48 on the Jared and Sam comment meme - where you should totally come leave promptts or fill some!
Summary: Jensen comes home to Jared
Jared is watching reaction vids on YouTube, sound dialed down. He doesn't want to wake Gen, Danneel and the kids. Somehow Danneel didn't want to leave, and Jared was glad, he wants her there for Gen. They spread the play mattress and some sleeping bags on the boys' room's floor, a party for the children. Jared sat with them a bit in their pillow fort. He wished he were up to bringing it crashing down and turning it into a take no prisoners pillow fight. Focused on the kids having fun, that was comforting. Jared kissed the kids and Gen, and begged off to the guest room. He wasn't going to be able to sleep for hours.
He listened to the house being folded up for the night, kids being tucked away. The light through the crack in the door turning off. Gen poked her head in, and Jared hugged her, said thanks. Said that Danneel should take his side of the bed, if he felt like he was gonna be able to sleep, he'd use the guest bed, that was fine.
Gen gave him a worried look, ran fingers through his hair, ruffled the bun she'd ties in it earlier. "This is supposed to make things easier for you, babe. You should rest".
He batted fingers at her wrinkled forehead, trying to make her smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry".
She smiled, not a relieved smile, and hugged him hard. He was always surprised by how hard she could hug, how safe he felt in her arms. He felt himself relax a little, smile a little more genuinely. He gave her a kiss, soft and sweet. "Don't worry. It's just like this for now. It will be better".
Her eyes went wider with concern, and she pulled away a bit, still wrapped around him. "You didn't tell me you were gay!"
" So gay" he agreed, kissing her again.
~
He looked over some of the messages fans left him on Twitter, on Facebook. Could hear Dannie and Gen breathing softly, down the pleasantly dark corridor. People sent him personal stories, meaningful ones. Personal messages of encouragements. Some made him tear up, most did. It was weird sometimes. He was restless. Like he was supposed to do something, to reciprocate better. Over 7000 replies to his latest message. He wondered whether Facebook had to do something to make this mass of replies stable. He needed something he had already achieved, something he didn't have to worry about now.
The Supernatural parody (Osric was hot as Sam, he needed to remember to spank his ass for that) led to old convention videos ( painful reminder he had just missed JIBCon), to old gag reels (Jared giggled throughout, wishing he could call Jensen), to fan reactions. Into about the fifth vid of a fan crying her eyes out over Sammy, or Dean, or Cas, Jared was both elated and wrung out. It meant so much that fans were so moved, that he'd managed to touch so many fans with his acting. He wanted to hug each of those fans so hard and take them home and love them. But it also reminded him of the dark bleakness he had to tap into to get there. He needed to truly believe that Dean - that HIS Dean - that he would -
Dean had been part of Jared's life for ten years now, and beside Jensen, probably the one Jared could trust the most to have his back. Dean was always there for Sam. Jensen was always there for Jared. That was the way things worked. That was what kept | Jared going. So much of Sam and Dean was really him and Jensen. So much of him and Jensen came from Sam and Dean. Like Gen said - men didn't usually get to have that sort of relationship. But Sam and Dean had it, so he and Jensen could find
their way into having it.
Being almost killed by Dean - for real almost killed by him - was messing with Sam's - with Jared's - mind in bad ways.
He wished Jensen were there. Just to squeeze his arm and remind him that whatever the writers came up with, Jensen always, always, had his back. Jared opened the file with the design of their faces together. Always. It helped for a moment, but faded away. Jensen had complained so much about that scene. Said it was just season finale crap, that Dean would never ever do that. Made a point of saying that a lot, and grumpily, around Jared, throughout filming. Jared got the deeply concerned little looks Jensen gave him throughout shooting that scene. The extra care Jensen took to pat his back after that day. To congratulate him on his acting, and when they finished filming the episode, to celebrate with him. Made a stupid video with Jared for the fans, cause Jared wanted it, and Jared made kissy face for the fans - or for future them - or for present Jensen. Jared really wished Jensen didn't have to go to Australia now, for Jared, and could just come home. Part of Jared's home would always be in Jensen, and Jared really needed to be home right now.
It wasn't a complete surprise when Jared heard the front door gently open. Because whatever he was going through, Jared was a dreamer. Also, because Jensen had called him twice an hour during the last couple of days, voice strained with the effort not to let Jared know how worried he was, how crazy he was going with not able to be around Jared and make him better, somehow make him better right away.
So Jared slipped out to the living room, barefoot, to hug Jensen before he could even put down his bags. He just got a glimpse of Jensen's face, frayed, and newly stricken as he looked at Jared. Made Jared wonder what Jensen was seeing. It was a long hug, Jensen damp and smelling like airplanes, like Texas night. At first Jensen was tense, trying to pack days of worry and stress into a hug. Then Jensen relaxed, like he always relaxed when he had Jared tight in his arms in a big hug. And Jared found himself clinging, needy all of a sudden, hiding his face in the crook of Jensen's neck, and it smelled like Jensen and Jared's eyes were damp.
Jensen put a hand on the back of Jared's head, patted and patted, like he wanted to repeat the act of touching Jared, of finally being there to hold him, like he wanted to put a hand on the back of Jared's neck for every time he had the urge to in the past days, and couldn't.
"I told some fans they demanded too much from you" Jensen half confessed by way of greeting. And then a showy "it's fine", you idiot, "I told them how much the stuff they send you is meaningful, they were happy.". he takes a breath. "You should turn your phone off".
"Hey Jen" Jared smiles and hugs Jensen tighter, swallowing as he registers
the fear in Jensen's eyes. Actual fear. He tries to kiss it away, and Jensen jumps into the task of kissing Jared comfortingly.
Jared smiles fondly, pulls away. Things are already better, now that his whole family is here. He needs Jensen around, he needs Jensen. "Thanks for coming J" .
Ships: J2, Jared/Gen, others, however you understand it
Rating: PG
Notes: for
ash48 on the Jared and Sam comment meme - where you should totally come leave promptts or fill some!Summary: Jensen comes home to Jared
Jared is watching reaction vids on YouTube, sound dialed down. He doesn't want to wake Gen, Danneel and the kids. Somehow Danneel didn't want to leave, and Jared was glad, he wants her there for Gen. They spread the play mattress and some sleeping bags on the boys' room's floor, a party for the children. Jared sat with them a bit in their pillow fort. He wished he were up to bringing it crashing down and turning it into a take no prisoners pillow fight. Focused on the kids having fun, that was comforting. Jared kissed the kids and Gen, and begged off to the guest room. He wasn't going to be able to sleep for hours.
He listened to the house being folded up for the night, kids being tucked away. The light through the crack in the door turning off. Gen poked her head in, and Jared hugged her, said thanks. Said that Danneel should take his side of the bed, if he felt like he was gonna be able to sleep, he'd use the guest bed, that was fine.
Gen gave him a worried look, ran fingers through his hair, ruffled the bun she'd ties in it earlier. "This is supposed to make things easier for you, babe. You should rest".
He batted fingers at her wrinkled forehead, trying to make her smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry".
She smiled, not a relieved smile, and hugged him hard. He was always surprised by how hard she could hug, how safe he felt in her arms. He felt himself relax a little, smile a little more genuinely. He gave her a kiss, soft and sweet. "Don't worry. It's just like this for now. It will be better".
Her eyes went wider with concern, and she pulled away a bit, still wrapped around him. "You didn't tell me you were gay!"
" So gay" he agreed, kissing her again.
~
He looked over some of the messages fans left him on Twitter, on Facebook. Could hear Dannie and Gen breathing softly, down the pleasantly dark corridor. People sent him personal stories, meaningful ones. Personal messages of encouragements. Some made him tear up, most did. It was weird sometimes. He was restless. Like he was supposed to do something, to reciprocate better. Over 7000 replies to his latest message. He wondered whether Facebook had to do something to make this mass of replies stable. He needed something he had already achieved, something he didn't have to worry about now.
The Supernatural parody (Osric was hot as Sam, he needed to remember to spank his ass for that) led to old convention videos ( painful reminder he had just missed JIBCon), to old gag reels (Jared giggled throughout, wishing he could call Jensen), to fan reactions. Into about the fifth vid of a fan crying her eyes out over Sammy, or Dean, or Cas, Jared was both elated and wrung out. It meant so much that fans were so moved, that he'd managed to touch so many fans with his acting. He wanted to hug each of those fans so hard and take them home and love them. But it also reminded him of the dark bleakness he had to tap into to get there. He needed to truly believe that Dean - that HIS Dean - that he would -
Dean had been part of Jared's life for ten years now, and beside Jensen, probably the one Jared could trust the most to have his back. Dean was always there for Sam. Jensen was always there for Jared. That was the way things worked. That was what kept | Jared going. So much of Sam and Dean was really him and Jensen. So much of him and Jensen came from Sam and Dean. Like Gen said - men didn't usually get to have that sort of relationship. But Sam and Dean had it, so he and Jensen could find
their way into having it.
Being almost killed by Dean - for real almost killed by him - was messing with Sam's - with Jared's - mind in bad ways.
He wished Jensen were there. Just to squeeze his arm and remind him that whatever the writers came up with, Jensen always, always, had his back. Jared opened the file with the design of their faces together. Always. It helped for a moment, but faded away. Jensen had complained so much about that scene. Said it was just season finale crap, that Dean would never ever do that. Made a point of saying that a lot, and grumpily, around Jared, throughout filming. Jared got the deeply concerned little looks Jensen gave him throughout shooting that scene. The extra care Jensen took to pat his back after that day. To congratulate him on his acting, and when they finished filming the episode, to celebrate with him. Made a stupid video with Jared for the fans, cause Jared wanted it, and Jared made kissy face for the fans - or for future them - or for present Jensen. Jared really wished Jensen didn't have to go to Australia now, for Jared, and could just come home. Part of Jared's home would always be in Jensen, and Jared really needed to be home right now.
It wasn't a complete surprise when Jared heard the front door gently open. Because whatever he was going through, Jared was a dreamer. Also, because Jensen had called him twice an hour during the last couple of days, voice strained with the effort not to let Jared know how worried he was, how crazy he was going with not able to be around Jared and make him better, somehow make him better right away.
So Jared slipped out to the living room, barefoot, to hug Jensen before he could even put down his bags. He just got a glimpse of Jensen's face, frayed, and newly stricken as he looked at Jared. Made Jared wonder what Jensen was seeing. It was a long hug, Jensen damp and smelling like airplanes, like Texas night. At first Jensen was tense, trying to pack days of worry and stress into a hug. Then Jensen relaxed, like he always relaxed when he had Jared tight in his arms in a big hug. And Jared found himself clinging, needy all of a sudden, hiding his face in the crook of Jensen's neck, and it smelled like Jensen and Jared's eyes were damp.
Jensen put a hand on the back of Jared's head, patted and patted, like he wanted to repeat the act of touching Jared, of finally being there to hold him, like he wanted to put a hand on the back of Jared's neck for every time he had the urge to in the past days, and couldn't.
"I told some fans they demanded too much from you" Jensen half confessed by way of greeting. And then a showy "it's fine", you idiot, "I told them how much the stuff they send you is meaningful, they were happy.". he takes a breath. "You should turn your phone off".
"Hey Jen" Jared smiles and hugs Jensen tighter, swallowing as he registers
the fear in Jensen's eyes. Actual fear. He tries to kiss it away, and Jensen jumps into the task of kissing Jared comfortingly.
Jared smiles fondly, pulls away. Things are already better, now that his whole family is here. He needs Jensen around, he needs Jensen. "Thanks for coming J" .
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-06-01 05:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-01 05:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-06-01 05:56 am (UTC)Thank you SO much! Just what I needed to read. *hugs*
xx