Dean and Medication
Apr. 15th, 2013 10:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
citrus_javaOne of the most touching things, to me, was when Dean, "you don't need painkillers" Dean, "We're all men here" Dean, got Sam whatever medication that was, in season 6. Because there was something very... compassionate about it, to me, and willing to admit sometimes softness was what was needed, and they were not invincible. It was being willing to look at the situation with less bravado and more care. Less insisting that Sam be what Dean wants him to be, be everything Dean demands from himself, to, but could just be Sam.
And then again with Kevin - care. Bananas, tomatoes, anxiety medication. Though the way he explained it was the opposite of care, it was "buck up, soldier".
On the other hand, getting medication for someone else is really very patronizing. I think to Dean, it's somewhere between considering Sam to be part of him, in some respects, and taking the role of big brother, which is maybe 80% care, 10% silliness and 10% telling Sam what to do, how to be. Maybe not, it doesn't really matter here.
Regardless, I wonder whether he would, or did, apply the same rules to himself. Whether throughout the utter desperation of season 5, the drinking, all of Dean's fear, need of approval, tendency to put his own needs aside. Whether somewhere in all of Dean's lack of care for himself, he found a good enough reason or impulse to do this. Whether, if he did, it was out of care for himself or the usual "take care of Sammy", or worst - "can't afford all these feelings now". And I wonder what he thinks about having done it, or not done it, now.
And then again with Kevin - care. Bananas, tomatoes, anxiety medication. Though the way he explained it was the opposite of care, it was "buck up, soldier".
On the other hand, getting medication for someone else is really very patronizing. I think to Dean, it's somewhere between considering Sam to be part of him, in some respects, and taking the role of big brother, which is maybe 80% care, 10% silliness and 10% telling Sam what to do, how to be. Maybe not, it doesn't really matter here.
Regardless, I wonder whether he would, or did, apply the same rules to himself. Whether throughout the utter desperation of season 5, the drinking, all of Dean's fear, need of approval, tendency to put his own needs aside. Whether somewhere in all of Dean's lack of care for himself, he found a good enough reason or impulse to do this. Whether, if he did, it was out of care for himself or the usual "take care of Sammy", or worst - "can't afford all these feelings now". And I wonder what he thinks about having done it, or not done it, now.
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Date: 2013-04-15 09:36 pm (UTC)I think the nurturing 'mom Dean' stuff is buried so far under that he barely realizes it, and yet... It comes out, and he lets it, so long as it's leavened with 'suck it up' bravado.
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Date: 2013-04-16 10:58 am (UTC)Yeah. He is less likely to stray from that :-(