Oh darling :((( I'm so sorry to hear about this. Even if a parental relationship is difficult/abusive/bad etc, the death will still be a hard thing to face. Perhaps even doubly so as there is a feeling of things left unresolved. *sits with you quietly and holds your wrist* Be kind to yourself. Be angry. Cry, shout, laugh, have fun, kick the walls. Whatever helps, all is allowed. Your grief and how you express it is yours. <3