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Sep. 14th, 2015 04:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
citrus_javaThre years ago, I wrote - I've tried watching Supernatural 2-3-4 times before, and managed to squeeze out of myself lukawrm and fondless support. Today i waces the spoiler thing and tried watching from mid season 4. #it gets better. Starting the fifth episode now instead of going to sleep.
I enough experience with myself to leave open the option that I would like it. I had no idea how much I would fall for it. I noted that even before any particular show feelings (?), the song gave me FEELS. A long long time before, I tried watching the show in hopes of falling for it, and found it incredibly boring.
I did note what episode I started from, in case I do fall for it (much experience with previous fandoms told me I might ever want to know that). It was the episode in which the heroes traipsed around somewhere rural, with a dark haired woman, whom one of the brothers seemed to like more than the other. The episode in which they talked about looking for their father - one of the brothers seemed to maybe have had a conflict with him. Surely that was enough information to recognize it.
I watched the entire series and didn't find it, couldn't understand why, but was sorta resigned to never finding it. There was the one episode that wouldn't play for some reason.... surely of 7 seasons it wouldn't just happen to be that one.... only it was. Wendigo.
I had intended to root for the less popular brother . I maybe assumed I would figure out who it was from watching.
Note: IMO Bugs is a pretty good episode. My least favorite episode (not counting Blood lines) is Bitten, but my now favorite write on the show.
Communities I'd intended to start:
"New to SPN" for late bloomers trying to navigate the many places left abandoned, socializing with people who've been friends for years with each other, and what really happened with Candle_Beck?
"Realistic Non-AU" for people who wanted RPF that aimed to be about the actors, like character studies and such.
"The LJ group that every week or four had a theme, like "blood" or whatever, and people were invited to make any sort of fanart inspired by it, and to remix each other etc - for that time only, though".
Stories I started writing:
Dean comes back from hell very intent on having sex and being super kinky, and also randomly stops it and tries to hide how bad he's shaking, and refuses to acknowledge either. It started pretty good, I hope to finish writing it some day. Proud of myself that I started writing that one before I knew about sex aversion and the discussion of hypersexuality etc.
Sam over the years, moments he watched appearances of incest on TV and such (that really happened), and his reactions as he got older.
Dean Forster is, in fact, our Sam, having run away to live like a normal person. He calls himself after Dean, and the early 20th century writer, who wrote some very cute and pretty explicit stories about forbidden love between men. And things like - it would explain the episode where he wanted his life like a Donna Reed show, etc....
J2 - SPN ends, the have an emotional scene where Dean thinks Sam is going to die (or such), and Jensen spends the day crying over Sam, which mixes with crying over losing Jared, their relationship will change when they don't see each other every day at the very least, which turns into kissing Jared a lot, not so much because he wants something romantic, it's more clinging to Jared and not wanting to lose him. Romantic relationships are "real".
Jensen knows Jared is going to slip away, for all they are best friends - they will be the guys being interviewed about still seeing each other sometimes, sure, they are still close, but they'll meet twice a year on vacations. Friendship doesn't justify meeting every day. They tlke about opening that bar, they open the foundation together, it's something legal and real, documents Jensen can touch, but it's not gonna work.
Gen leaves and drives away from Canada to New York, the places she used to love there, you know, McDonalds with the kids and lost socks, realistic little thing.
But really, she gets the flare gun out of the trunk, and goes off on a hunt for wendigo.
(with or without Jared and the kids, I mostly dropped the story because I couldn't figure that out )
A shifter lives with them for months, sometimes one brother sometimes as the other, as they navigate their relationship. I couldn't figure out the details, but I knew that it loved them, is maybe hiding or does this without really meaning to harm, but also had it's own agenda. I didn't want it to be like- the big conversations were always with the shifter. More - the subtle little things were sometimes with the shifter, leaving important gaps, the sort they'd maybe wonder about ir assume some sad untruth, but maybe never find out about.
Sam has a thing about denying himself comfort and pleasure. I'd say this is canon, almost. This fic contrasts this with Dean - and maybe it comes to an in-fic conclusion between them.
/this is contrasted with s10 Dean trying really hard to be the guy who used to enjoy things like casual sex and food.
/this is noticed by Jess, and she enjoy pushing him. Maybe not just in a comforty way, but in an understanding yet challenging way. She'd gotten him to play hookie for the first time (first time not involving family pressure). They drove to San Fransisco for a specific sort of desert, but the place was closed - they had a good time anyway.
Sam/Kevin (/Dean) in which Kevin gets off on reading Wincest - because really - fans are the only people who share the way he feels about Sam. Also, it's really fun to make Sam blush and sputter over it. And it's particularly fun doing it just as Sam is about to come. And yeah, it definitely stop that, but he is not so sure Sam is brushing for the reasons Kevin expected.
I did write this short short thing about Kripke pouring all his dark family experiences and unrequited love and hero worship for his brother into the series, while denying any of that ever happened. It's on a broken computer, i hope to get it back (most of these are).
J2 Supernatural AU, where Jared is in the Dean role and Jensen in the Sam role.
B ert and Ernie SPN AU. Crack. You know, sleeping next to each other, lifemates. Bert has nightmares after coming back from hell. IINM I'd planned to write sexytimes, maybe that took into account the way their bodies really were.
I wanted to write for Balder12 this body horror Kevin centric fic, where he is deaged and very shaken by it. With a conversation with turned-human Cas, who can partially understand.
So many others....
I enough experience with myself to leave open the option that I would like it. I had no idea how much I would fall for it. I noted that even before any particular show feelings (?), the song gave me FEELS. A long long time before, I tried watching the show in hopes of falling for it, and found it incredibly boring.
I did note what episode I started from, in case I do fall for it (much experience with previous fandoms told me I might ever want to know that). It was the episode in which the heroes traipsed around somewhere rural, with a dark haired woman, whom one of the brothers seemed to like more than the other. The episode in which they talked about looking for their father - one of the brothers seemed to maybe have had a conflict with him. Surely that was enough information to recognize it.
I watched the entire series and didn't find it, couldn't understand why, but was sorta resigned to never finding it. There was the one episode that wouldn't play for some reason.... surely of 7 seasons it wouldn't just happen to be that one.... only it was. Wendigo.
I had intended to root for the less popular brother . I maybe assumed I would figure out who it was from watching.
Note: IMO Bugs is a pretty good episode. My least favorite episode (not counting Blood lines) is Bitten, but my now favorite write on the show.
Communities I'd intended to start:
"New to SPN" for late bloomers trying to navigate the many places left abandoned, socializing with people who've been friends for years with each other, and what really happened with Candle_Beck?
"Realistic Non-AU" for people who wanted RPF that aimed to be about the actors, like character studies and such.
"The LJ group that every week or four had a theme, like "blood" or whatever, and people were invited to make any sort of fanart inspired by it, and to remix each other etc - for that time only, though".
Stories I started writing:
Dean comes back from hell very intent on having sex and being super kinky, and also randomly stops it and tries to hide how bad he's shaking, and refuses to acknowledge either. It started pretty good, I hope to finish writing it some day. Proud of myself that I started writing that one before I knew about sex aversion and the discussion of hypersexuality etc.
Sam over the years, moments he watched appearances of incest on TV and such (that really happened), and his reactions as he got older.
Dean Forster is, in fact, our Sam, having run away to live like a normal person. He calls himself after Dean, and the early 20th century writer, who wrote some very cute and pretty explicit stories about forbidden love between men. And things like - it would explain the episode where he wanted his life like a Donna Reed show, etc....
J2 - SPN ends, the have an emotional scene where Dean thinks Sam is going to die (or such), and Jensen spends the day crying over Sam, which mixes with crying over losing Jared, their relationship will change when they don't see each other every day at the very least, which turns into kissing Jared a lot, not so much because he wants something romantic, it's more clinging to Jared and not wanting to lose him. Romantic relationships are "real".
Jensen knows Jared is going to slip away, for all they are best friends - they will be the guys being interviewed about still seeing each other sometimes, sure, they are still close, but they'll meet twice a year on vacations. Friendship doesn't justify meeting every day. They tlke about opening that bar, they open the foundation together, it's something legal and real, documents Jensen can touch, but it's not gonna work.
Gen leaves and drives away from Canada to New York, the places she used to love there, you know, McDonalds with the kids and lost socks, realistic little thing.
But really, she gets the flare gun out of the trunk, and goes off on a hunt for wendigo.
(with or without Jared and the kids, I mostly dropped the story because I couldn't figure that out )
A shifter lives with them for months, sometimes one brother sometimes as the other, as they navigate their relationship. I couldn't figure out the details, but I knew that it loved them, is maybe hiding or does this without really meaning to harm, but also had it's own agenda. I didn't want it to be like- the big conversations were always with the shifter. More - the subtle little things were sometimes with the shifter, leaving important gaps, the sort they'd maybe wonder about ir assume some sad untruth, but maybe never find out about.
Sam has a thing about denying himself comfort and pleasure. I'd say this is canon, almost. This fic contrasts this with Dean - and maybe it comes to an in-fic conclusion between them.
/this is contrasted with s10 Dean trying really hard to be the guy who used to enjoy things like casual sex and food.
/this is noticed by Jess, and she enjoy pushing him. Maybe not just in a comforty way, but in an understanding yet challenging way. She'd gotten him to play hookie for the first time (first time not involving family pressure). They drove to San Fransisco for a specific sort of desert, but the place was closed - they had a good time anyway.
Sam/Kevin (/Dean) in which Kevin gets off on reading Wincest - because really - fans are the only people who share the way he feels about Sam. Also, it's really fun to make Sam blush and sputter over it. And it's particularly fun doing it just as Sam is about to come. And yeah, it definitely stop that, but he is not so sure Sam is brushing for the reasons Kevin expected.
I did write this short short thing about Kripke pouring all his dark family experiences and unrequited love and hero worship for his brother into the series, while denying any of that ever happened. It's on a broken computer, i hope to get it back (most of these are).
J2 Supernatural AU, where Jared is in the Dean role and Jensen in the Sam role.
B ert and Ernie SPN AU. Crack. You know, sleeping next to each other, lifemates. Bert has nightmares after coming back from hell. IINM I'd planned to write sexytimes, maybe that took into account the way their bodies really were.
I wanted to write for Balder12 this body horror Kevin centric fic, where he is deaged and very shaken by it. With a conversation with turned-human Cas, who can partially understand.
So many others....
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