My favourite thing about fandom life is the sense of community. I have been in fandom since my teens and just like back then, fandom feels like a safe and fun environment for me. Much like you, I love how fandom is so much more than talk about fannish things, and so it has been for me as well. I have learned so much through fandom, I love the great mix of validation, and challenging set ideas that you also mention.

I love squee, discussions, meta and reading fanfic too.

I look forward to season 11 as well. I plan to stay away from spoilers as best I can, as I prefer watching without any idea what is going to happen. What about you? Do you stay away from spoilers or do you like them?

I am sorry you are not in a good place; I wish you well and hope you have some good things happening to you this summer :)