(no subject)

[citrus_java]

So for those who don't know, M and I are living together again, on the condition that I have my own space, with a door, that she never enters.

I haven't been able to use that space lately, was feeling too badly and there isn't usable furniture there (M was in charge or taking care of that before she moved back in, and didn't on time, and after I needed her AWAY from that space, and decided to take the time cause I just could not handle that. There was also a bunch of garbage there that I was gearing up to throw out, but it was taking very long, mostly because whenever I gathered some energy, I mostly had to use it on dealing with M.

So today I left the house for a few hours , and came back to find a lot of the trash that had been in the room outside in the garbage can. And I was just wishing she hadn't, that there was some sort of explanation - but no. It turns out she went into my space, and decided what needed to be thrown out, and threw it out. I feel so violated and so - just - sad.

She explained that she believed it was consensual, cause a long time ago I told her I wasn't able to do it myself. Two days ago she dropped something in my stuff and I explained (again) that her even looking at it makes me nervous, and I gave up doing my stuff to find that thing for her just so she doesn't go through my things at all. She has ALWAYS made up dumb excuse to tell herself that things I clarified beyond clarification were off limits, were not.

I can't believe she did that.

I can't believe this is my life.